Changing My look

I write this post with much caution. I didn't even want to post it, but since this blog is about my life and my family's life I wanted to share what has effected me/us deeply this week. I am also hoping this will be therapeutic. I do not pride myself on the way I have handled the following situation:

Earlier this week I made a HUGE change to my hair. More drastic than I have ever done. It has been very painful. Actually, it has affected me in ways I never thought a haircut could. I have felt less self-confident, anxious and a little depressed. I have come to realize that I am not as sad about the actual hair cut as I am about how I have reacted over something so meaningless in the big scheme of things. I wish it didn't, I wish I could just enjoy it instead of wishing it away. I often have to tell myself to snap out of it and remember that it is just hair, it grows, and it won't be like this forever. But this week has felt like FOREVER. I have done my research about how to make hair grow faster. I have had a hard time sleeping because of regret. I wake up in the middle of the night all of a sudden, feeling a little relieved, thinking it was just a nightmare. But then I move, I touch my hair and realized it wasn't a dream at all, this is reality. During the day, I will be busy enough to forget (a nice break), but as I walk past a mirror or a car or store window, I am reminded of my choice. When I go out, I don't look at faces or clothes anymore, I look at hair. I stare in envy. I also noticed that I now have shorter hair than 90% of the male, teenage population! When I see someone with a similar cut, I realize they don't looks so bad, so why do I?

My biggest concern and anxiety has came from wondering what my biggest critics would say about it- Ashlyn was one of them. You can tell when a child is lying- they take a minute to think about it. She didn't, she was nice to me, she told me she loved it right away and went on to draw me a picture to make me feel better. Dylan was honest too, he doesn't really like it, but I also know he doesn't care.

The truth is, I asked for this cut, I didn't just get a bad hair cut on accident. I told her to do it. She did a great job actually. I was feeling very excited about a change. Feeling daring and confident that I could pull off any hair cut my whim would blow me. For a long time I have wondered and desired a hair cut like this. I just had never tried it, never had the guts. This time my guts made an appearance. Guts I wished had stayed hidden. I miss feeling my hair move, I miss making it curl, I miss feeling more like a woman. I miss looking in the mirror and loving my hair.

The good part- I don't have to wonder anymore. I can say "did that, been there." I will save the short hair for my senior years. I also have better bed head.

I just needed to get that out. I know all of you are going to gush to me about how much you love it, whether you are being honest or not, I will never know. The people who don't like it have been kind enough not to mention it at all. Those who maybe do like it or who are just nice, have said a lot of nice things. Things I really appreciate them saying. However, the nice things will have to keep coming for a few more months while this mop grows.

I also have learned a few things about myself, or about how other's view me...

• My friend was surprised when I told her my reaction to my hair. She told me she was relieved to know that I had an insecurity. It was nice for me to find out that people might view me as a confident person. On the inside I am more insecure than I would like to divulge.
• I was grateful for the one word I heard twice- VOGUE
• A running colleague said one of his favorite cuts his wife has had is a pixie similar to mine.
• Finding out a few friends have had it worse and live to tell their tale
• A teenage boy said it made me look younger- that can only be good

The unveiling...

I know, not too terrible from the front, it is the back that gives me the heart attack. It is VERY short.

In case you are wondering how you can make me feel better, go straight to your salon and get a cut just like it. We can grow it out together! I already asked Ashlyn to do me that favor- she turned me down.

The dreaded seminary starts tomorrow, I better get to bed.

This Week

We survived an earthquake, tornado and hurricane. Could it get anymore exciting?

Moving to Utah

Dylan sure wishes we were moving to Utah. He spent a weeks worth of early mornings on the boat doing this...He boasted about being so good at kneeboarding that Chad helped him learn how to do this...
Wow, I am way impressed little man!

I had to break it to him that if we did move to Utah that he would not be boating every day all year long. What a bummer!

We took a trip to Utah at the last minute because Connor's parents came home from their mission to Spain. We sang a song from "This is Kirtland" at their homecoming. We sure had a ton of fun!

The cousins enjoyed lots of quality time together, even a little TV time (for adult sanity)...
We went to Air Borne and played dodge ball..
We had endless fun with the dogs, skeeter and rowdy...
We now hold the world record for the most children on a miniature carousel...
We went bowling... (I can't say Corbin bowled, he was off gaming)



We rode the motor bikes...
Danced in our new spanish dresses...
and of course we played in the pool all day every day...
We had a picnic with my grandpa...
Ashlyn learned how to jump off the diving board (only because Corbin did it first) and eventually without any life jacket...
And boating of course...
Best of all Corbin threw out the diapers and is a proud wearer of these...

Next best, we updated our family pictures. Last time we did this we were barely pregnant with Corbin. Little to say, there are more kids in this picture. This is the Thompson clan...

All the grandkids...I really loved the way they turned out...

I should have gotten a few more of these...
Oh, that's right. It was because all our kids looked like this...

I flew home with all four kids alone, a first! Of course we almost missed our connection and Dylan threw up from plane sickness. We are home now, but missing our cousins. Thank you for the good times!

Kiddy Pools

This is what happens when I am too lazy to sunscreen four kids, myself and lug all the gear to the pool... The best parts- I can get something done while they are having fun, and I don't have to sunscreen them since it is in the shade- bonus!!!

As you can see I was even too tired to put Kamryn in her swimsuit. I think the real reason was that I can't get enough of her chubby roles. The bum gets me every time.

Kamryn has a fascination with goggles. She loves to wear them, which makes us roll on the floor, but she loves to toss them in the water even more.

This is a normal scene at the pool...

My friend taught me the marvelous trick of creating your own seat side kiddy pool! I now lug my cooler to the pool.

Drab to Fab

I had a pair of just OK flip flops. I am trying to be more thrifty and spend less, so I had an idea. Why not turn those flops into something better?

Do my Drab...

To Fab...

I love they way they turned out. But taking a picture of your own foot without making it look alienish is harder than it looks!

Purple Finger

I should have known better!

Corbin has had a similar experience in the past. He got a cut on a finger and it got infected. For some reason I thought this one would be different, but it wasn't...

The cut was on the other side of his finger, but the purple ring manifested mainly on the top side of his finger.

It didn't help that his sore finger was slammed in the door and it got a little worse looking...

I think I should make him carry a triple antibiotic cream in his pocket.

2nd Grade

Our summer was quite a big shorter than most. We put Dylan in a new school where we hope he will be more challenged. I am just not getting around to showing you what a cute 2nd grader her his... just two weeks late.He was VERY excited, and still is about his new school...

Bloody

Kamryn has been waking up a lot like this...It doesn't seem to phase her but I am getting a little tired of cleaning out her sheets. I thought we would have more issues with it going to Utah, a dryer climate. However, not one incident at all. The night we returned it started again?!?!